Thursday, May 29, 2008

5 things I like/don't like about myself

Hmmm... 5 things I like about myself - this is hard. It feels like bragging, and if my Mom finds out I'm sure I'll still get a lecture about pride.

1. I'm a good cook. My husband and kids eat anything, so I get to try all kinds of stuff.
2. I'm a good storyteller. You're reading this blog aren't you?
3. I'm a good wife & Mom. My kids are healthy, happy and well adjusted. My marriage has survived 18 years, cancer, job losses, moving 9 times, seriously crazy family members, death of parents...
4. I'm a good housekeeper. It's not perfect, but I've channelled my little OCD's in a healthy way. : )
5. I'm good at making lists. That's kind of sad that the only thing I could come up with for number 5 is that I'm good at lists.

Don't Like: This is way easier. Only five? The hard part is narrowing the list down.

1. I can't take a compliment. If you tell me my jeans are nice, I'll tell you I only paid $10 for them. If you tell me my hair looks nice, I'l dismiss it. If you tell me you like a dish I prepared, I'll tell you it's nothing.
2. I eat as a comfort/crutch. Instead of prayer, my first reaction is a handful of...whatever can't run away from me.
3. I hate surprises and quick changes. I don't need to be in charge of the plan, but I need to know someone is, and that they know what's going on. Otherwise I quietly freak out and get annoyed.
4. I can't get up early to save my life. Honestly if my house catches fire between 1 and 7 am, I'm toast.
5. I can be selfish with my time. I don't have a lot of free time, and I'm pretty picky about how I spend it.
6. I hate exercising. I despise my weight, but refuse to do anything about it. Wait, I was supposed to stop at 5 wasn't I?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Seriously, you're not one of us!

My husband is a Pastor. I've spent more time in church over the past 20 years than most people will spend in a lifetime. In fact, I work at the church too(, so I've spent more time at church since Monday than some people will in a lifetime. I'm okay with that. I like my church. I like my job. I like the ministry we're a part of. (I know I shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition - I notice every time, I just don't care). Anyway, both my husband and I grew up in very conservative homes. Those FLDS folks aren't too far removed from my background. Seriously. Eliminate the polygamy and the child brides and we're there. King James version of the Bible, dresses and long hair for women, women don't work outside the home - my parents were criticized for sending me to college - Bob Jones University no less - because since I had an education, I would always be tempted to step out and make money thus undermining my husband as Head of our Home. I wasn't allowed to go to movies, school dances, or date and was allowed limited time with friends who didn't attend the same church we did.

For the record, it's not how I'm raising my kids, and I'm confident they'll make far fewer stupid choices than I did because they're better informed and have more balance in their lives. Will they make mistakes. Oh, yeah. Will they break my heart? Possibly. Will I still love them? Definately.

In fairness, my parents were new to faith and got off on the wrong foot. I sincerely believe both my parents and the leadership of the church had pure motives. But, and there's always a big "but", they were sincerely off track. Waaay off track. My dad has since passed away, and my mom has found a balance.

This whole post was inspired by a YouTube video I watched yesterday. I was looking for Newspring Church( when I typed the pastor's name into the YouTube search engine, a pastor with a 10 minute rant against him was at the top of the list.

Now, I'm all about freedom of speech, everyone is entitiled to their opinion and for me to criticize & mock that man makes me no better than him. But, (there's that big but again) what is the point? How can he possibly think God is pleased with any of his ranting? Honestly. It's individuals like this guy that makes people think Christians are ALL narrow minded freaks muttering imprecatory Psalms and rejoicing every time an abortion clinic is blown up or someone dies of AIDS. "Smite another one Jesus!" we pray as we wring our hands and dance - actually we don't dance - that's sinful - as we walk through life.

Don't get me wrong, sin is sin, I belive God is very clear about what pleases and displeases Him. As a "survivor" of Fundamentalism, I realize have a biased opinion of that movement and should take care passing judgement. I simply believe God would be better served by us fighting the devil than each other. That's all.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Five Random Things

1. I like the smell of homemade bread. It reminds me of the days before my Mom lost her mind.

2. I hate chick flicks. I would rather have unanesthesized dental work than watch Sex & the City, read anything Nicholas Sparks has ever written - including his signature - or see any movie that could potentially be on Lifetime.

3. If I could quit my job and watch TV and movies all day, I would do it in a heart beat. I will watch anything starring Mike Meyers, Denzel Washington, Johnny Depp, James McEvoy, John Hannah, Judi Dench... I will not watch anything starring Sandra Bullock, Kate Hudson, Eva Longoria, Julia Roberts - Kathryn Heigel is a wild card - she was in Knocked Up before 27 Dresses

4. Toast is my favorite snack.

5. I had a dream that I was cheating on my husband with McLovin'. You heard me. McLovin. As in Superbad. I've been in love with Johnny Depp since High School, but a lisping, foul-mouthed teenager is my subconcious fantasy? I can't even imagine the level of therapy I need to get to the bottom of that one. Nevermind. I don't want to know.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Home of my Heart

I am homesick today. I'm homesick for a place I haven't lived in almost 25 years - Cape Breton - the island I grew up on. I realize that time allows us to romanticize our past and gloss over the reality of our memories. But it's where my heart is. It's where I grew up. It's an intergral part of who I am. I am proud to be a Canadian and proud to be from Cape Breton. Capers are proud & stubborn people who are fiercely protective of who they are and what is important to them. Sound familiar? My side of the island is predominantly Scottish and has produced the most amazing musicians. The music is Celtic, unique and beautiful. If you didn't grow up with it, it may not mean much, and may not be your taste. For me, it is the soundtrack to my childhood.

It's hard to explain why Cape Breton is still, and will always be, my home. If you've never lived one place for a long time or really identified with a culture, than this probably doesn't make much sense. I belong to Cape Breton. It's not just where I'm from, it's where I've been. I have friends that grew up on Long Island, and I think they feel the same way. Maybe it's an island thing. In the meantime, enjoy this little window into my home. The song is The Island, and the scenes are from all over Cape Breton. I didn't create the video - it's from YouTube (isn't everything?) Most of the scenes are very familiar to me.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I was listening to the radio in the car yesterday and nearly drove off the road trying to change the station when an ad for Jared Jewelers started playing. I HATE THEIR JINGLE. That's Jared! I cannot tell you how much it annoys me. Of course, since I'm sitting in traffic in Northern Virginia - a little window into hell - it got me thinking of other services and products I will never buy or use because of their jingle. In all fairness, this is no reflection on the quality of their product or service, it's just me. Music is a powerful thing - didn't you learn your ABC's as a song? How about conjunctions? "Conjunction Junction what's your function?" It's just that for me, their plan worked in reverse. Yes, I remember you, but I twitch when I hear your name. Jared isn't the jingle I hate most - it's just the one that triggered the sense memory of heinous jingles.

Daisy Sour Cream.
Easily the jingle I hate most in the world. I hate it with the firey passion of a thousand suns.

Empire Flooring. A close second to Daisy,
the phone number then the voice sliding over the word Empire followed by TODAY! AAHHHHH! I will live with dirt floors before I use them for flooring.

Kraft Krumbles - They're krumbelievable! Mr. Ad Man, you deseve a boot to the berries for this one.

Folgers Coffee
- If the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup, your life sucks. Sorry. A fact's a fact.

Anyway, this has been somewhat theraputic. I'm better now.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!

This was our Mother's Day Tribute at church last year. It's based on a sketch by the hilarious Barats and Bereta - we used their idea, made it G-rated for church - and this was the result. I think they did a pretty good job. Enjoy.

Friday, May 9, 2008

What's on your iPod?

I just bought the Wayne's World CD for $1 at the Library. It's one of my favorite guilty pleasures - I movie I stop and watch even if it's halfway through when I find it. I know it isn't fine art or high cinema - but dang it, it's funny. Twice a year the Library has a massive used book sale - it's awesome. I got 15 books by authors like Augusten Burroughs, Anita Shreve, Frank McCourt, Wally Lamb, Jed Rubenfeld ... AND my CD for $18! I felt like a fat kid at a buffet. Seriously - it was fan-freaken-tastic. I just wished I had remembered it in advance so I could have shopped more and spent more. >: ) Anyhoo, I've been listening to that CD on my iPod for the past week - I love it. Songs like:

Bohemian Rhapsody - arguably the best song by one of the greatest bands of all time - QUEEN.

Foxy - Jimi Hendrix - my daughter Sarah's favorite from the movie and the CD - she can do the shimmying, twitching dance Dana Carvey does in the movie - cracks me up

Ballroom Blitz - Tia Carrere's version, not the original by Sweet. Still, a great song. I remember it was a challenge to learn and spit out all the words - really, you're not singing along are you?

Dream Weaver - Gary Wright - I honestly didn't remember the song until it got to the chorus. I always associate it with the soft lighting and wind machine of those scenes from Dana's imagination.

Feed my Frankenstein - Alice Cooper. Hmmm, I wonder what Alice was thinking about when he wrote this little gem? Nasty. I know only a few Cooper songs, I like them more than I should admit. An acquired taste I know.

There's a lot of great songs - some better than others. Anyway, what are you listening to? I'm up for anything.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Another Sign of the Apocolypse

I rarely watch network TV - the only reality shows I've ever purposefully watched more than once are Last Comic Standing or Project Runway (mainly 'cause I knew one of the models and really wanted her to do well), but I digest. Not that I'm highbrow in my comedy choices - I watch BBC & love British humor. But, I do have my standards. In yet another sign of the decline of Western Civvilization and further evidence that if God does not destroy us all in a fiery display of His wrath He'll owe Sodom and Gomorrah an apology, I bring you Single and Special. Really, after that girl on Flavor of Love pooped on a rug during a very special episode, it was just a matter of time. The end is near my friends. Get your sunscreen.

Single and SpecialGreenlit cable dating show from established production company seeks mentally disabled male and female contestants of all ages and races.
"Single and Special" will be a tasteful mix of "The Bachelor" and "Life Goes On." "Single and Special" already has the endorsement of the Special Olympics. Pilot available upon request.

Tri-State area contestants preferred. Will have mental health care professionals on set at all times.

Please email photo and short bio, with dating history, to

* I haven't been able to find aother info on the show - let's pray it isn't real.

Virginia Wasn't for Lovers

Mildred Loving, matriarch of interracial marriage, dies

NOTE: I grew up in Canada so much of the racial tension and history here is the U.S. is foreign to me. Canada has it's own set of cultural & social tensions -it's simply that I didn't grow up with it so I forget how recent it is. I live in VA now, so this story was a reminder to me of how very recently Virginia wasn't for lovers.

Associated Press Writer

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) -- Mildred Loving, a black woman whose challenge to Virginia's ban on interracial marriage led to a landmark Supreme Court ruling striking down such laws nationwide, has died, her daughter said Monday.

Peggy Fortune said Loving, 68, died Friday at her home in rural Milford. She did not disclose the cause of death.

"I want (people) to remember her as being strong and brave yet humble - and believed in love," Fortune told The Associated Press.

Loving and her white husband, Richard, changed history in 1967 when the U.S. Supreme Court upheld their right to marry. The ruling struck down laws banning racially mixed marriages in at least 17 states.

"There can be no doubt that restricting the freedom to marry solely because of racial classifications violates the central meaning of the equal protection clause," the court ruled in a unanimous decision.

Her husband died in 1975. Shy and soft-spoken, Loving shunned publicity and in a rare interview with The Associated Press last June, insisted she never wanted to be a hero - just a bride.

"It wasn't my doing," Loving said. "It was God's work."

Mildred Jeter was 11 when she and 17-year-old Richard began courting, according to Phyl Newbeck, a Vermont author who detailed the case in the 2004 book, "Virginia Hasn't Always Been for Lovers."

She became pregnant a few years later, she and Loving got married in Washington in 1958, when she was 18. Mildred told the AP she didn't realize it was illegal.

"I think my husband knew," Mildred said. "I think he thought (if) we were married, they couldn't bother us."

But they were arrested a few weeks after they returned to Central Point, their hometown in rural Caroline County north of Richmond. They pleaded guilty to charges of "cohabiting as man and wife, against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth," according to their indictments.

They avoided jail time by agreeing to leave Virginia - the only home they'd known - for 25 years. They moved to Washington for several years, then launched a legal challenge by writing to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy, who referred the case to the American Civil Liberties Union.

Attorneys later said the case came at the perfect time - just as lawmakers passed the Civil Rights Act, and as across the South, blacks were defying Jim Crow's hold.

"The law that threatened the Lovings with a year in jail was a vestige of a hateful, discriminatory past that could not stand in the face of the Lovings' quiet dignity," said Steven Shapiro, national legal director for the ACLU.

"We loved each other and got married," she told The Washington Evening Star in 1965, when the case was pending. "We are not marrying the state. The law should allow a person to marry anyone he wants."

After the Supreme Court ruled, the couple returned to Virginia, where they lived with their children, Donald, Peggy and Sidney. Each June 12, the anniversary of the ruling, Loving Day events around the country mark the advances of mixed-race couples.

Richard Loving died in a car accident that also injured his wife. "They said I had to leave the state once, and I left with my wife," he told the Star in 1965. "If necessary, I will leave Virginia again with my wife, but I am not going to divorce her."

Saturday, May 3, 2008


Today I hate:

1. Waking up waaaay too early on a Saturday I should have been sleeeping in because my spring allergies are fierce and I want to swallow a hairbrush so I can adequately scratch my itchy throat.

2. The neighbor's dog. Stupid Max. Stop. Barking. See Max. See Max bark. See Max bark some more. See Max bark and bark and bark and bark. See Max get chased by the crazy lady. Run Max run. Oh, poor Max.

3. The carpet in my house. I hate carpet. The sinner who sold us the house installed the cheapest quality carpet in the western hemisphere. Carpet is a generous term. Actually so is installed. Seriously. There are speed bumps in the upstairs hall. Think nappy acrylic sweater balled up on the floor of your closet. That's my carpet.

4. Finances. We have good jobs, are paid fairly and live modestly. Where the crap does the money go?

5. Dusting. I don't mind housework - I actually enjoy some of it and keep a tidy house. But dusting? Dusting makes my teeth itch. You don't really get rid of the dust, you just move it around and make the room smell like artificial lemons for a minute. AAAAAAGGGHHH!

6. Shut. Up. Max.

7. Hannah Montana. Not Miley Cyrus - the Hannah Montana TV show. It bumped LOST on our DVR because it was a higher priority program so only half of it taped. WHAT?

Today I love:

1. My husband. That one doesn't change day to day. Some days I like him more than others...

2. My dog Sophie. Sigh. She's nice.

3. Kleenex with lotion. My poor afflicted nose.

4. My bed. Nice, fresh sheets - high thread count. Ahhh.

5. Wireless internet. Laptop in bed. Yay for being lazy on Saturday morning. Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I have to be up. >: )

6. My backyard. We opened the pool yesterday and i can see it from my window. Pretty.

I'm done. I need a cup of tea. What about you? What do you love/hate today?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Lessons Learned from the Drunk Girls of MySpace

From the evil geniuses at Asylum For All Mankind, I bring you Lessons We Learned from the Drunk Girls of MySpace.
Girls, I don't know who you are, and by the look of some of these photos, you probably aren't clear who you are either, but you need better hobbies. The internet is unforgiving girls. Someday, your kids are going to find these and there goes those hours of lectures on the evils of alcohol...

You partied with friends, right?

I wonder how many diseases you can catch from a frat bathroom floor. I bet she knows.

If you're okay with this being the way you get home, you're in trouble. Never mind, you won't remember.

Niiiice. Very sexy. Boys love a girl covered in the (former) contents of her stomach.

You can't buy class like that. Wait, maybe you can pay for it...