The complete list is at http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20215564,00.html
NATIONAL LAMPOON
If your franchise is using Paris Hilton as a last resort, you know its time to put it to bed (and, no, not Hilton's bed). Though National Lampoon started out on a good foot (hello, National Lampoon's Vacation and Animal House!), once Girls of National Lampoon's Strip Poker was released, we realized the franchise was ready to fold.
(Anything Paris Hilton is attached to - I want no part. I don't have all the necessary shots. You get free herpes with every DVD purchased.)
FRIDAY THE 13TH
Okay, so 2009's Friday the 13th is a remake and not necessarily part of the slasher franchise. Still, that doesn't excuse the slew of Jason films — 11 in total! — that somehow found their way onto the big screen. We were happy to visit Camp Crystal Lake just the once, thankyouverymuch.
(At the risk of sounding like a purist, why do we feel compelled to re-make horror classics? Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Carrie... The first Friday the 13th was great 'cause we didn't know any better, AND it had a sassy Kevin Bacon. Why bother remake it?)
THE MUMMY
We dug the Brendan Fraser-Rachel Weisz action film the first time around, but when it comes to the third film — in theatres Aug. 1, eight long years after the second installment — we think this mummy should have stayed in its tomb.
(Love the Mummy series - first one was definately the best)
AMERICAN PIE
The dirty high school comedy rightly cooked up legions of teenage fans, thanks to its illicit appeal and, of course, the always reliable Eugene Levy. But after two sequels, and a string of terrible straight-to-DVD flicks starring the ever-annoying Stifler family, we suddenly had a second reason to dread band camp.
(Never saw it. Feel a little self-righteous about that)
BRING IT ON
I said, Brr! It's cold in here! Must be our reaction to the never-ending Bring It On films! The three installments following the original 2000 film were so terrible, not even a squad of spirit fingers could save the franchise.
(Never saw it - my kids like them - I think)
AUSTIN POWERS
Somewhere between Mr. Bigglesworth and Alotta Fagina, we fell in love with Mike Myers' James Bond spoof. But the comedian's shtick became all too predictable with its two sequels. Even before Goldmember, the International Man of Mystery was starting to make us bored, baby.
(Could have done without Fat Bastard & the guy eating his own skin. Lets hope The Love Guru 2 never sees the light of day)
SAW
Once Dr. Lawrence Gordon (Cary Elwes) began cutting his own foot off with a rusty saw, we were done. And yet, a fifth installment is on its way into multiplexes.
(My - otherwise perfectly normal - friend Angela loves these. Ugh.)
INDIANA JONES
Sure, the first three Indy flicks were solid enough to be considered classics, but we'd rather stand in a pit of snakes than see this year's humdrum Kingdom of the Crystal Skull again. Too bad George Lucas didn't take note — he's said he hopes to release a fifth film. But if Indy's dad, played by Sean Connery, isn't going to make any more appearances, we'll just stick to Celebrity Jeopardy.
(Kingdom was crap - aliens? Seriously?)
SCARY/EPIC/SUPERHERO/DATE MOVIE
None of these tasteless, unfunny flicks even come close to holding a candle to 1980's Airplane, the prime example of a spoof done right. And at least the Airplane folks had the good sense to make only one terrible sequel.
(I really agree with this one. These movies are useless. Even when if I'm home with the flu and too sick to move, I'll muster the strength to at least roll over on the remote. CNN is funnier.)
THE LAND BEFORE TIME
Baby dinosaur Littlefoot found the leaf and found his mother. All was well. Now, if only the animated kidflick series went extinct so we wouldn't have to endure its 12 sequels.
(I'm sorry, 12 friggin' sequels? Real dinosaurs didn't live this long. Where's an ice age when you need one?)
I'd add the Star Wars franchise to this list, but some of the Star Wars geeks know where I live, and if they ever come out of their mom's basements, I'm in trouble.
Like I said, the rest of the list is at EW.com - feel free to stop by.
7 comments:
Ok, I loved Van Wilder but I agree most of these needed to stop way before they did.
Some of these I wish had never begun in the first place! I saw the first American Pie and hated it. Both Saw and Friday the 13th I did not see and absolutely won't see.
The last Indiana Jones movie was indeed a disappointment to me, although I liked the ones before it.
Austin Powers had moments here and there that I found amusing, but mostly I didn't care for it.
The first Land Before Time seriously rocked when I was 5, though!
"Austin Powers" is the only one in which I don't agree with. The others have to do, but AP still has a lot of potential.
I know you are away but I tagged you in a Meme. Go to my blog and check it out. (Sorry!!!!!!!)
I agree with all of them, especially the Scary/Date/Epic movies and Austin Powers. I can't imagine anything new that AP could do at this point.
Add Shrek to the list. The first two were great; Shrek The Third was rotten.
Saw.. no thanks.
good reviews, however I agree with Audra, Van Wilder was an instant classic! Write that down.
Lets not forget the horrid Batman sequels. Mr Freeze should have just stayed home. . . . and bat girl made me want to vomit, in a really turned on way of course.
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