Deadliest Dream

I could not fall asleep the other night and was determined not to take Ambien again because even though they tell me it isn't addictive I don't believe them. I know my personality. I am addicted to the TV show Intervention about people with addictions. Don't tell me I can't be addicted to something. I'll take it as a challenge.

Anyway, as I tossed as turned - actually sighed and rolled would be a more accurate description - I could not get my mind to stop. I could not turn it off. I ended my night with the season finale of Dealiest Catch. I am not a Sex and the City gal - I'm a Deadliest Catch woman. Give me Edgar Hansen in rain gear over SJP in Prada any day. Earlier the family had watched what may be the worst movie available to the public, Grizzly Park - of course you've never heard of it - the actors in the movie don't put it on their resumé. I've seen better acting on YoGabbaGabba. One of the last scenes is a tarty little thing being attacked by a grizzly and seeeing her silicone breast implant sail through the air in slow motion. Yeah. It was THAT good. My husband is forbidden to choose movies ever again. My daughter wanted something scary - and in his defense, that's tricky to find for a 12 year old who isn't as brave - or old - as she'd like to think she is. There's either naked people running around or f-bombs in every sentence. Other than the "inside of a boob shot" there wasn't a lot of that in this movie. Anyway, my mind is wandering - that stupid movie, summer school, the boy in my daughter's class who she has known for 6 years but is pretending he doesn't know her because she goes to church, the mission trip we leave on in a week and a half, my grandmother's deteriorating health, finances, and the fact I have developed itchy palms and the soles of my feet are crawling for no apparent reason.

Anyway, I finally fall asleep, and I am jolted awake horror movie style to a clap of thunder so loud I may have peed. Just a little. Wow. Lightening so bright I could read the clock across the room. So bright I could read if it lasted long enough. Toss toss toss, sigh sigh sigh, back to sleep. More thunder. Aaggghh. Awake.Back to sleep, itchy hands. Not quite back to sleep...barking dog. Back to sleep - Deadliest Catch.

I dreamed I was madly in love with - and he with me - Edgar Hansen. If that's not weird enough, his brother Sig is in love with me. (In the dream obviously - both are happily married from what I hear. Not that I hear a lot, seeing I don't know them...anyway...awkward). I'm talking rolling around on the beach - on rocks, 'cause it's Alaska - love. Uncomfortable yet? I am. I tear myself away from Sig because "I love Edgar, I love Edgar I tell you, this isn't right!" and run to Edgar who is waiting and forgives me for kissing his (kinda crazy eyed, slightly unstable in my opinion) older brother. Um, what?

I feel it's important to note I didn't go to bed intoxicated, I did not eat Indian food, nor is there a gas leak - I am aware of - in my room. I am also the least romantic woman alive. Anyway, just thought I'd share a window into my insanity, so later, when I really do snap, you'll be able to testify, "Well your Honor, there was this one time she talked about kissing a Norweigan crab fisherman. Does that help?"