I had a sialogram this morning. Never had one? They're awesome. First you need 3 bouts with parotitis(mumps) collapsed salivary glands and a deflated duct. Sounds good already doesn't it? Add a scraped fender (my fault) in the parking lot, an hour and a half wait in 3, count 'em 3 different waiting rooms, and a tech that chats you up by telling you how much he hates A. Women (we're all hormonal and crazy, that's why the psych ward is full) B. Religious people (especially Christians 'cause they're so damn preachy and steal old people's money) and 3. Immigrants (learn the language). We have a winner! It's all the makings for a craptastic kind of day. All that's missing is a surprise visit from my MIL then I could die with my life complete. The procedure itself is a hoot. You lie on your back and slide until your head is hanging off the exam table. Then they insert a tiny metal rod into your salivary duct. For someone like me, that's tricky 'cause it's collapsed. So you get syringes of Real Lemon concentrate squirted into the duct. Then they probe and probe until, get this, they mimic the pain of the parotitis! "Does that hurt enough? Does that feel like it? Am I in a good spot?" If nothing else, it's given me greater compassion for my friends battling infertility. Huh? What? Well, I don't know a lot about IVF, although I'm quite confident no one is squirting lemon juice in their hoohas. They do however, spend insane amounts of time in crappy waiting rooms with magazines from the Reagan era, lab techs who treat them as another patient instaed of a person, and have other, non-citrus unmentionable fluids squirted in and around them. >: ) I'm inspired to pray more faithfully when they have even a routine check. And now, I'm going to go watch crappy daytime with Sophie - somehow that's very theraputic today.
5 comments:
Yikes that sounds like torture! I have never heard of it, but it sounds very scary.
Sorry for the inconvenient testing. Hopefully you'll finally get some answers though, and atleast it made for an interesting post... I know, that doesn't make you feel any better. But I kind of understand the whole uncomfortable oral thing. Remember, I am the one who had pieces of their gums cut out like 7 times in High School b/c I had jacked up teeth. Waiting rooms, Dr.offices, anything related to the medical field is just plain uncomfortable. I wish that kind of pain upon no one, especially you Tracey!! Agh!!
OH all sounds sour ,,,(heheh pun) sorry had to type that! As an Infertile, i was told to bath in lemon juice to get my lady bits's pH balanced ........... NO i didn't do it, that's insane. Sorry you had a nonfun day
Doctor's are NEVER FUN! I hate you had such a bad day. Bad days are the worst!
I wish I could have gone with you. Crappy days should be shared with friends, so that the crap can spread evenly among those you love...
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