Maybe this would be Hell's ipod? Is there even such a thing as a jukebox anymore? I don't know...anyway, I've had "ear worms" plague me this week. Are you familiar with the term "ear worm"? It's the songs, commercial jingles, random music that gets stuck in your head and it WON'T GO AWAY no matter what you do. You listen to stuff you like, but as soon as it ends, the ear worm creeps back. It's the song that runs in your head when you wake up at night to go pee. The muzak that follows you out of the elevator. The soundtrack to your dentist appointment - that level of annoyance or pain. Some of these you've may not have heard of, but they are songs that someone - "Hello Mrs. Chisholm! Fourth grade music teacher!" - exposed me to & have never really gotten over it. It's like musical baggage. I feel like I've ranted about this before, but whatever, it's my blog, I'll re-rant if I want to!
Here's a partial list of what plagues me:
1. Lovin' You - Minnie Ripperton. I've said it before and I'll say it again, there are sounds the human voice was never intended to make.
2. Muskrat Love - Captain & Tennille. Rodents. Sex. Squealing. Enough said.
3. Watching Scotty Grow - Bobby Goldsboro. Was everyone in the 70's this lame-tastic? Really anything by Goldsboro makes my teeth itch.
4. Jolene - Dolly Parton. For some reason I associate this song with going to catechism on Sunday mornings in my Dad's giant tan Bel Air. Nuns & Dolly Parton. Yeah. That makes sense.
5.Stewball - Peter, Paul & Mary. Thanks Mrs. Chisholm. I swear to God if I get brain cancer there will be a direct link to this song. Who makes a bunch of 4th graders sing "Old Stewball was a racehorse and I wish he were mine, he never drank water, he only drank wine..."
6. Gypsies Tramps and Thieves - Cher. Or maybe Sonny & Cher, I don't remember - all I hear is her in my head. What a God awful piece of 'art' this is.
7. I'm proud to be an American - Lee Greenwood. I swear that song makes me want to throw puppies in a wood chipper.
8. Friends are Friends Forever - Michael W. Smith. For those of us 'churchies', you know this one. Shut. Up.
9. Billie Don't Be a Hero - Paper Lace. I'm beginning to see a pattern - I hate 7's music.
10. Candy Man - Sammy Davis Jr. Ewwwwwwww.
There are tons more, but my OCD demands my list be in increments of 5's. If I add one more then I'd have to do 15. Then 20. You understand.
How about you? What makes you mental?
8 comments:
I'd HAVE to agree with hte Michale W Smith song..It is like hearing nails on a chalk board for me. Our choir director LOVED that song ..AHHHHH .. along withhet newsboys Shine. It's a great song but if sung way too much just loses it's value.
As for dolly - Mine is Hard Candy Christmas - makes my ears bleed
I can't tell you which songs get stuck in my head now b/c one of YOUR songs is now occupying the space...
'Cuz friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them...
Is it bad that I only recognized about half that list?
Gotta agree with #1, #2, and #6 though. Guaranteed postal tunes for me!
*shudders*
Great list, and hilarious comments! And I agree with your choices, by and large.
Personally, if given a choice of the the entire catalog of ol' helmet-hair Bobby Goldsboro, I'd have to choose "Honey". A song sung to his dead wife has got to trump a song about being an obsessive Dad.
I'm old enough to know all the songs you mentioned _except_ "Stewball". I'm glad I missed it. My stepdad, a proud member of the John Birch Society, used to dismiss PP&M as beatniks and Commies.
I'd like to add a few:
- Achy-Breaky Heart by yet another tonsorially challenged singer, Billy Ray Cyrus.
- pretty much anything by bob Marley. Hey, I'm sorry; I know I just lost all my "pretty cool for an old guy" points, but his stuff - at least when done by him - although tuneful and memorable, crawls under my skin and lays eggs.
- pretty much anything by the Grateful Dead. Like the comedian said, if you're not stoned when you listen to it you realize how awful it really is.
I agree on all but the Lee Greenwood song, that one makes me ball everytime. I am a sap like that
It's okay to be a sap on some stuff - thanks for the comment. : )
I can't stand the song Virtuoso by David Phelps. It seems like it will never end. Flame and I mock it and laugh every time it comes on the radio. Sorry God for making fun of another Christian song!
I've been trying to capture the pure disgust i have for certain songs, and unfortunately they're usually Christian songs from yester-year. We've discovered that nearly everything on XM's Channel 32 - The Message on their "Timeless" feature can be thrown out into the landfills along with unplayed copies of ET The Extra Terrestrial cartridges for the Atari 2600. The one I heard today that piqued my thoughts of tinnitus fully taking over my hearing loss was "Do It For You" by The Imperials... I cannot argue with the message of the song, but that "TIMELESS" tune and the genre of post 70s disco pop funk quasi-80s should be left lost in time and it needs to stay there with all the skinny ties, flock-of-seagulls hair, and tight peg-legged jeans.
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