Okay, heard a disturbing report yesterday. Ascots on men are in. Seriously? The only men who can get away with ascots are Fred from Scooby Doo and John Waters. One is a cartoon, the other is, well, he's John Waters. The boys from Panic at the Disco wore ascots for their SNL appeance last week, and so did some guy on American Idol - sorry - don't watch the show so I can't remember his name, only the look.
It got me thinking how slavish - is that a word or am I pulling a DRS and creating one? >: ) - we are to what someone tells us is in. Not for nothing, remember when straight guys decided what was hot or flattering on a woman? Looking back on some of the trends I whole heartedly emabraced I have to laugh, then I stop and pray I have the courage to just say no in case they come back. As a teen in the 80's, I have much to be ashamed of.
Legwarmers. Yeah - the closest I came to Flashdance was walking past a construction site. I wasn't fooling anyone.
Shoulder pads. I'm 5'2" with DD boobs. I looked like a minature linebacker. What an unflattering silhouette. Lets take the one good feature I had, a tiny waist, and smother it.
Speaking of smothering, how 'bout leggings? Unless you were a dancer, you ended up with legs that appeared to be stuffed into sausage casings.
Acid washed jeans. Like Billy Ray Cyrus, they should never have been created in the first place. A skid mark on denim that will last forever.
Speaking of Billy Ray, the mullet. Now arguably, the mullet's been around longer and like a cockroach, won't die, but I believe the boys of the 80's raised it to an art form. Bruce Mac Neil had one I lusted over my entire High school career.
Headbands. Not the preppy hair band, but the sweatband/headband thingy from Olivia Newton John's "Physical" video. Yeah, I was rockin a blue and white terry cloth number with a gold thread running through it. Jealous much?
Big Hair. I'm torn on this one. On one hand, big hair was easy for me - perm the crap out of it, tease the crap out of it, then spray the crap out of it with Aqua Net. There is a hole the size of TX over a tiny village on the east coast of Canada and it's my fault. On the other hand, it was a lot of work. See steps 1-3 above. And, it resulted in potentially dangerous eye-threatening situations. For instance, if you leaned in to tell a secret to a girlfriend, you could lose an eye on her bangs. Stranger things have happened. True story - I couldn't wear the headpiece I wanted for my wedding because my bangs were too high.
Big earrings. I'm not talking hoops - I'm talking satellite dish sized hunks of plastic that gave us lobes like those tribal women in rural Africa. At least for them, the droopy lobe thing is considered sexy. Here, not so much.
Jelly shoes. This abomination is back. How do you make a smelly part of your body smell worse? And, can we add painful blisters? That'd be great, thanks.
White panty hose. Lets think, I'm a white girl of Scottish descent living in a community that frequently had snow from October to May - summer usually lasted for 15 minutes on a Thusday in July ... how can I make myself whiter?
Enough - this is worse than I thought. I didn't even get to the "Independant-Baptist-Pastor's-wife-plaid-jumper years". I need to go lie down. How about you - what do you never want to see or will you never wear again?
13 comments:
You make me laugh! I needed this today! How about tight rolled jeans, neon colors, or stirrup pants? lol
Agh! Stirrup pants - I wore them through my pregnancies. <: ) Hideous!
You left out White jeans, arm bands, tee shirt pulls(ot tie) that went on the corner of your t-shirts to give that knot look, and scrunchies in all colors
Scrunchies! How could I forget the almighty scrunchie!
The only guy i know that wears an ascot has a tracheotomy... Sounds like Darth Vader when he breathes... shudder
Ascots???? Ugh!!!
My parents were pretty darn strict so I didn't get to do much of the 'fashion' scene during my school years. But I did manage to squeeze a mesh tank over the over-sized, off the shoulder t-shirt past them, as well as one set of fingerless, lace gloves and don't forget the "granny" high heeled boots!
Yep, sooooo glad the 80's are done and over with!!! LOL
I gotta vote for hair crimping and pegged jeans.
Layer socks and spandex shirts that looked like they went through a paper shredder. Ugh pegging your pants and just about anything else from the late 80's early 90's. Ugh body suits lets wear a shirt that is too tight and crawls up your ass all day long. Thank you 90210
I remember them all! How about butterfly hair clips to go with the scrunchie? At least you didn't go back a decade( the '70s) to thick, pastel colored polyester. I swear I saw someone wearing stirrup pants a few weeks ago and almost screamed.
I do wish big shoulders would return. They made me feel so strong.
Headbands will always make me think of Mike Reno, lead singer of Loverboy. I saw a pic of him recently. Looks like someone finally turned him loose... on the dessert bar.
I'm pretty sure my mother-in-law still wears jackets with shoulder pads, but combined with her mustache, it actually works.
One thing I never wore was the ridiculous knit tie. Hated those. I once went to a fraternity dance and caught all kinds of hell for wearing an old school silk tie. Everyone else had knit. They laughed at me. But who's laughing now, bastards?
Hip hugger, bell-bottom pants were popular when I was in high school. The legs were so wide at the bottom you could actually trip over them if you weren't careful when you walked. I had one pair and wore them maybe twice before realizing how ridiculous they were.
I'm still saying the thin tie is dumb as hell
Great. I remember all this stuff. :-) Thank you for the laugh and the memories. :-)
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