loss

I've been prepping for camp and then trying to re-adjust to society since I escaped, so I just now read my friend J's post about how she processed the loss of her baby. I've never experienced her loss, so I won't pretend to understand. It's not loss, it's death. Saying with nice words doesn't make it easier. My Mom whispers things like "She's got cancer" "Her husband had an affair" as if whispering makes it less true. I'm sorry J sometimes felt alone. I remember sitting in the airport waiting to fly home for my Dad's funeral wanting to slap the faces of the happy people all around me going on vacation, taking a business trip, whatever. I couldn't understand how they could go about like everytihng was normal. I wanted to scream "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? MY FATHER IS DEAD!"
The pain of losing my Dad doesn't compare to losing a child, but people still say the most assinine things thinking they're helping. That much I can understand. That may be the single good thing that came from my father's death - the realization it is so much better to just say "I'm so sorry" and then just SHUT UP. Some people never learn. Or they're just flat ignorant. Like the woman at my father's funeral who told my mom - "You're young. You'll find someone else in no time." WHAT? I think the worst part of the grieving process is the unforgiving timeline others assign to you. Once they're done grieving we're supposed to be done too. I've had too many friends kiss babies good bye that they never got to hold. On behalf of those of us who've never known that unique agony, let me say "We're so sorry." And now I'll shut up.