So I'm back to not sleeping again. I can't fall asleep, then when I finally do, it isn't for long. Or worse yet, my stupid nightmares come back. Dr. L adjusted my meds - first time since radiation ended - so hopefully, it'll get better soon.
Sometimes, the insomnia a good thing. I've sorted through some family issues, prayed for all of you, especially my pregger friends, planned what I'll pack on my trip home for Christmas, and written about 20 blogs in my head. I've reviewed what I'm thankful for - inspired by many of your lists : ) - been ashamed of things I've put off improving, and renewed my determination to stick to WW points.
Sometimes it's not so good. I have re-acquainted myself with my hatred of all things financial, plotted ninja attacks on my B-I-L who has done almost irreperable emotional damage to my sister and their kids, worried about the things my kids are exposed too, dwelt on my shortcomings as a wife, mother, pastor's wife, employee... all the things that in the light of day I keep in perspective, but at 3:26 a.m. is an abyss I slide into. Thank God the sun comes up around 7.
I have Ambien, but, even though - according to the manufacturer - it's non-habit forming - it's not how I want to fall asleep every night. Whether my body would depend on it, my mind would, and that's the part I can't get to sleep. No problem with a tired sleepy body, it's my mind I can't get to shut off. Any way, enough whining. I think I'll work on getting some of those 20 odd blogs out of Drafts.
3 comments:
OH Tracey, My dear friend ..... insomia is bad, but a weary tired soul is THE WORST. I will pray for you and your mind. I know that having a heavy heart only adds to insomia. I am wishing, hoping and praying for better days for you in the very near future
Maybe I start bringing in the espresso machine on a daily basis. = )
Oh, how I "get" this! There are nights where I lay in bed for hours, thinking, praying, worrying, etc. Sometimes I even begin to make lists in my head of all the things I need to remember to worry about and I have to fight the urge to get up and clean my house or something - just seems like I should be productive if I'm not sleeping, right?
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