Explain to me...

1. Why are there 12 hot dogs in a pack but only 8 buns?

2. What is Steve Miller talking about when he says he's "the pompadous of love" in The Joker? What the heck is a pompadous anyway?

3. Why does a 5 year old from London reciting the alphabet sound more intelligent than I do quoting Shakespeare? Damn that accent.

4. Why will my dog drink from the toilet and the pool but not from her water bowl if there's a hair in it?

5. Why do my children only vomit at night?

6. Who do I talk to about not hearing about or seeing Britney's vajayjay ever again?

7. Why does my mother think whispering "cancer" or "unwed mother" makes it less than what it is?

8. Who's idea was it to put an "s" in lisp? Isn't that a little mean?

9. Why does the bank charge me for insufficient funds IF I HAVE INSUFFICIENT FUNDS? Aren't we beating a dead horse? And who beats dead horsses anyway? What's that about?

10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me! It isn't original to me, but I had to add it)

11. Why do toasters have a setting to create charcoal?

12. Why does my gyno leave the office while I disrobe from the waist down when he's going to see more than I do when he gets back?

13. And finally, what's it supposed to mean "can't have your cake and eat it too"? What's the point of having cake in the first place if you're not going to eat it? Especially if it's Ber's grandma's Rum Cake.

AMAZING

There are no words. I laughed so hard at this site I think I peed a little. I've added it as a permanant link, but in the meantime, take a minute to check it out. Maybe your family is there.
http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2007/09/great-olan-mills-photos.html

uptown problems

I heard an expression this morning that I've never heard before - at least if I have, I don't rememeber. One of the girls in my small group Bible study was commiserating with a co-worker about car trouble, internet issues, etc. He interrupted himself, and said, "You know what? These are uptown problems." In other words, let's get a little perspective. Hmmm... that's interesting. Perspective has been at the forefront of my thoughts a LOT recently. With my hubby in so much pain the past couple of weeks, I've had to run the show on my own. It's been rough, I won't lie, because he ususally helps - a lot. Keeping an eye on the gas gage, 9th grade algebra, letting the dogs out - little things that add up really quickly to a whole lot. Last Saturday as I was running errands, carrying my tree to the curb getting covered in sap and piercing parts I hadn't considered with fir needles, picking something mysterious out of the dogs' fur, etc, I started to feel a little sorry for myself. We had a rough holiday, and it wasn't getting better and showed no sign of letting up any time soon. Then, that still small voice reminded me, millions of single parents do this every day. I have an end in sight.
We are all so spoiled. My kids don't go to bed hungry, they don't wake up alone and afraid. My husband is faithful and loving. I have a good job, good friends, and a nice house. My clothes don't fit because I ate too much. My finances are tight because I spent too much. My schedule is busy because I say yes too much. These are uptown problems. I have nothing to complain about.
Honestly, do you?

Seven from 2007

Not original to me - this was my friend Jill's idea, but it got me thinking -something I have time to do since my insomnia is back...
Things I have learned or needed to be reminded of in 2007:

1. Cancer is not the worst thing in the world that can happen to me.

2. My babies are teens. OK, Sarah, aka Sadie, is only 12, but try telling her that doesn't count. They are everything to me, & my proudest accomplishment is my family. If I do nothing else well, I have good girls & a marriage I am proud of. We aren't perfect, but we're happy.

3. God is a just God. You reap what you sow. See # 2 with reference to my children. >: )

4. I take my husband for granted sometimes. He is amazing. He was beyond amazing when I had cancer & went through those wretched weeks of treatment. I am blessed. You should envy me. Not because of who I am, but who I have.

5. Real friends are rare, and are sometimes better than family.

6. I need to get my citizenship. I didn't expect to be here this long, and if we're going to be here, I want to vote. Otherwise, as I see it, I don't have the right to complain.

7. I still miss my Dad. He died 17 years ago next month & I still feel cheated by God. Maybe 2008 will be the year I finally get past that.

Incidentally, the photo on this blog is my reason for wanting to lose weight, so I can someday horrify all of you with my scandalous weight loss and alligator bag looking hiney.

See you in 2008.